Quote:
Originally Posted by King Rudi
I can see where you're going with this. A better analogy should have been used here. Perhaps this may be my problem, i don't really look for fulfillment anywhere.....except maybe when I'm driving.
As for missing being single, I'll add more to this later. I think it's best that I keep certain things under my hat for now pertaining to my situation. But for you good sir, it is possible to be single and not be on the chase. There's a certain peace that comes with it, but there are also sacrifices one must make to obtain said peace.....usually that sacrifice is also a piece.
I haven't mentioned here yet, but the talk went smoothly Saturday night. A bit uncomfortable as one might expect, but we both recognize that we have things to work on, not for each other per se; but for ourselves. This is all I feel that needs mentioning at this point, there will be more to come.
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It is indeed possible to be single and not be "on the chase." Or at least not be consumed by it.
Through the '80s (when I was in my 20's) my 5 or 6 closest friends (all motorheads) and I were intensely competitive and career-focused and mutually supportive; we inadvertently became a "boys' club" where, without any official declaration or fanfare, we all gravitated toward focusing on our careers and "doing guy stuff" and tacitly acknowledged that we weren't going to see much action on the dating front. One of the gang went through med school and his surgical residency and has a successful general surgery practice. Another guy and his brother set up a tire wholesale business. I took on a pivotal role in my family business. Three of us bought a cast-off dragster on a lark and campaigned it on the NHRA circuit to mixed results and a bunch of stories.
We spent countless hours being guys together; talking smack, bench racing, wrenching on cars, getting in heated discussions that sometimes turned to fisticuffs, drinking oceans of booze, and creating mayhem whenever/wherever we got the urge (Edgar Winter, Green Pyramid, 50 rounds of .357 ammo, and a school bus; that's all I'll say).
Those guys are on speed-dial to this day; one particular member and I have been each others' best men at our weddings.
Flash forward several years; I went through a disastrous breakup in '93 and decided that I'd had enough of the romantic chase for a while and that I'd try chasing a better version of myself instead. I poured myself into cycling and through that had an athletic renaissance that was really rewarding. I made a whole new set of lifelong friends and gained a lot of confidence in my ability to suffer, compete, and transcend.
Were there times in any of this where I found myself wishing that I had a girlfriend? Sure. Fuck yeah. But in most of those moments, I looked at the freedom I'd had and all the stories I'd gathered and the camaraderie I'd enjoyed and it seemed like a pretty good deal all-round. Still does.