Quote:
Originally Posted by dinonz
Guys - I need your thoughts.
I've recently started seeing someone, and she seems really smitten really soon. I'm still seeing where it goes, but she's getting very attached. Not that I think she's a gold-digger, but she knows I'm building a house and have an M3 and a Ferrari.
She's a teacher, has an unused passport, 2 teen boys, and lives a nice sensible comfortable life. I don't know her financials, but I believe she lives sensibly but still paycheck to paycheck, I'm about to become comfortable - very comfortable. 8 figure comfortable. I have at least 4 international trips planned for next year alone (sorry - 3 - I still consider Hawaii as international!) and that leaves me with 2 problems:
1. She's a teacher, and it's hard for her to get away. I cannot plan but 1 of the trips (a wedding, and 2 birthdays cannot be changed by me) around her schedule.
2. She cannot afford to go on any of these trips.
#2 is less of an issue - I am old fashioned and not against paying to take someone provided she's not a gold digger, but #1 might mean she can't go on any of my trips which makes for a sad partnership in my view. Or am I being an ass?
I'm far from the "hey - don't work - just come live with me and we can travel at will" stage, but I worry that we're heading for troubled grounds.
I dunno. I've had a couple of wines and don't know what to think.
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There's three months out of the year you guys have available to travel if she's a teacher, you are making it a bit harder to coordinate than it needs to be. It's just looking rough right now cause school just started. So I wouldn't be concerned about number 1.
I think problem 2 isn't so much of an issue as your whole second paragraph is. If you're already concerned about red-flags of a potential financial inequality you need to think more about that than anything and how its a total double-edged sword. If you are OK with supporting her and her kids some, which it sounds like you may end up there, you have to make sure you're not going to resent her later on for that.
On the flip side, if you found a woman equally or more financially set than you are would it intimidate you?? If that's a more scary proposition, this current scenario might make you better off. But if you're already questioning it, I would say trust your gut.