Quote:
Originally Posted by Rmtt
At this point...I wouldn't worry about it. I have been in those situations too. I was just honest and told them while I enjoyed spending time with them, I thought they were moving faster than I felt comfortable with...and then I would see what their reaction was.
Don't take this wrong but with all the planning, it sounds like you may also be a little "smitten" with her as well. At this stage of the game, I feel like you still need to put yourself first. Make plans when they can work out, and when they don't work out don't sweat it. Its not like it's your fault anyway.
And if she is truly interested in this going somewhere and not just latching on for financial security, I think she would understand.
My wife is a teacher. We dated for a few years before getting married. During the school year, I was out with my "boys" more than I was with her. But it gave me a chance to see how she reacted. I didn't expect her to change her plans for me, and expected the same in return.
Now after about a year, we had talked about it and committed to see where things would go and that we would only see each other and no one else. That is where I got to see how trusting she could be. As for the gold-digger issue, I used to show up for dates with other women in my brother's old beat up pick-up truck. I figured that would let me know pretty quickly if their were any ulterior motives at hand.
Kind of like not "playing all your cards" at once.
But regardless of my rambling, best of luck with the situation. Your circumstances are different than mine were as I was only 30 when I hit the dating scene again. And I definitely wasn't looking to get in a relationship and didn't for years. I just had fun and did what I wanted. If they were game for those terms...then so be it. If not, then I just checked out.
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Thanks. I've been thinking of telling her it's all a little fast for me - I'll see how that goes.
I wouldn't say smitten, but I do think ahead (generally with everything - my daily budget I keep stretches out over 18 months in the future)
You said you waited a year before committing to not seeing anyone else. She told me that a week ago, and we only met mid-July one day before I went to NZ for 2 weeks. That's another reason I feel she's smitten and rushing things.
I have considered getting an old beater for dating or at least a much more modest car, but I already have the M3 and Ferrari, and plan to buy another classic exotic (Countach) later this year. But maybe a more sensible daily driver makes sense - bit late for this one though.
Thanks again - I do appreciate the input.