Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups
I like the idea of talking about the hard shit, of course I do, but this isnt about me. She needs help and i need to accept the role of a stern teacher here. My feelings now don't matter and if she wants to talk about the past, I won't stop her but there is nothing to gain to bring it up. I doubt I can handle her vision of our history and her in my face this much and do remember, I've killed before.
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It's not...not about you either. Its a relationship and there are two sides.
As you know, I know very little about your relationship aside from the very few things you've mentioned. I understand it isn't good. But you say that it's almost like she's given up / lost her soul, more than depression...something like that, I can't remember the exact words. But what if she feels like she can't talk about the past now, after so many years. After what has been said, and what hasn't been said. What if that's part of what's causing her to feel broken, but she doesn't know how to bring it up / fix it?
I'm not saying it is, I have no idea. I don't really know you, and I certainly don't know your mother or her personality / character type. Just saying...what if it were?
Yes, her recount of history will likely not be pleasant. Is she the type that now, the way she is now, would listen to your recount and consider whether there is truth there? Will you do the same to her for her version? Maybe there is some common ground that you can find to work with. Sure, it might not be repaired by the time she dies, but it might be better than what it was. Would you regret not taking the opportunity when you no longer have it?
Your Dad presumably saw something in her of value and worth? Surely there is something there.