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A friend of mine dated a woman who was in the Air Force. It seemed like pretty hot sex until she wanted to involve razor blades and hot glue guns, but he didn't really know how to break it off.
One day she came over and his cat, Stumpy, jumped into his lap. Stumpy was all white, but he always looked sort of gray because one of his front legs was underdeveloped and he couldn't wash himself. His stumpy little paw didn't reach far enough to do any good... and it wouldn't support him so he could groom with his other paw.
Stumpy purred quietly for a few minutes... then puked up a huge amount of vile smelling green bile down my friend's leg. He just ignored it and kept petting Stumpy, who just purred as if nothing had happened.
My friend said it was the worst ten minutes of his life as he struggled not to vomit over the smell, while the girl gave him strange looks because he did nothing to clean up the stream of cat puke that was dripping down his leg, onto his shoe and the floor. Finally she said she had to go, and he never heard from her again.
Stumpy got canned salmon or tuna for the rest of the month.
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