The same thing happened to me last week. Apple CarPlay disappeared from the menu. I could change my phone from iDrive to CarPlay but it still wouldn't appear.
I am not 100% sure how I got it working again, I got my phone to forget the Bluetooth and Wifi connections and deleted my phone from the car but when reconnecting it still wouldn't show in fact when I selected CarPlay rather than iDrive the phone would disconnect and not connect to the car in any way until I switched off CarPlay and back to iDrive.
Although it still wasn't working, I went into the Bluetooth connection to the car and noticed the CarPlay slider button and switched it off. Then I deleted the Bluetooth connection again and suddenly it was working again and has been fine since.
I am not sure whether the CarPlay works through Bluetooth or Wifi as today I was checking the system after a software update and found that music was playing via CarPlay but neither the Bluetooth or Wi-Fi was connected to the car! All working so can’t complain.
Cars three weeks old and still in its first 6 months of free CarPlay before subscription.
Hope that helps.
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