[NYCGarbagePrince]

Originally Posted by persian54

call me old fashioned I guess.

yeah that's what I think of when I think of your situation.... old fashioned.

[ragingclue]

I don't know how you could still define her as your girlfriend.... The situation makes no sense. She is an ex you just haven't let go of yet... That's all....

[CollinsE90]

Originally Posted by persian54

Thanks everyone :P

I know it's not going to last for much longer, especially like this

But the sex is pretty good... not always as good as with my secondary... but still good nonetheless

and the 'buys dinner' and stuff doesn't happen between us
At the beginning, we split at the place
and now, I pay, she pays. it evens out.

Also, I'm not 18...
I'm 22
shes 24
my secondary is 20.
my third who I've only been with once so far is 33.

I don't expect to marry her...

And joonsup, may I ask what you mean by the "healing process"?
After my 1st gf cheated on me and broke my heart blah blah blah, I've become relatively unattached.. meaning I get attached but not to a point where I'll get too emotional and disturbed.

And the falling in love with him part,
I don't think you could say 'love
But I guess if you rephrase is at "falling for him" it would make sense
I have to admit though... every time she does talk about him and I see how he falls 'short' it does give me an ego boast.. not gonna lie (like dressing too casual, not opening the door, still in school with no job and no income, driving a civic, too confidence to a point it's too cocky, BSing a lot... )

Guess it might not be a bad idea to ride it out?
Meaning, go ahead with the idea that she is no longer my gf; she's basically another fuck buddy...
Kind of sucks because I am the type of guy who prefers to have one woman deeply in love with me, than two women on my dick... call me old fashioned I guess.
I'm just a little surprised because I thought she could handle it (it meaning being able to have casual sex with another individual without letting it get in the way of us)... I've been able to see another woman for over half a year without letting it get in the way of our relationship

Fun...

O and we don't live together, and see each other about twice a week, give or take.

that is a dumb ass post, you're old fashioned but your in an "open" relationship...because if you were old fashioned you wouldnt let this shit ride, just end it and continue fucking other chicks, you are to young to be settling anyways, as am I...

[MCMLXXXIX]

Originally Posted by py335

wow..... i would never do open relationships. this isnt going to end good man

agreed. too fucking weird but w.e

[Serious]

Originally Posted by CollinsE90

that is a dumb ass post, you're old fashioned but your in an "open" relationship...because if you were old fashioned you wouldnt let this shit ride, just end it and continue fucking other chicks, you are to young to be settling anyways, as am I...

not exactly. The OP said he typically prefers one girl in a monogamous relationship but is giving this a shot, which IMO is actually pretty healthy since it displays a level of self confidence and security which is typically the major downfall in young relationships.

Also you guys should read about our bodily chemistry and how we react to relationships... because once you cut society out of the equation, our natural approach towards relationships tend to be open.

I personally haven't participated in them but have done a little bit of reading to try to understand the dynamics.



Back to the OP, I think this might be the signal to yourself that you aren't completely happy with the current situation and need a change of direction.

[BTM]

Monogamous relationship or single. No in between

[Verbiage]

Originally Posted by BTM

Monogamous relationship or single. No in between

+1. "Poly" and "relationship" don't belong in the same phrase, sentence, whatever. I'm totally opposed to this. Just my opinion.

[ideliver]

open relationships are for mature, experienced, seasoned adults...not kids...and OP...in case you do not know, you are a kid...

Time to face the music, she is just not that into you...and for multiple reasons she can't/won't break-up with you...time to move on

Maybe you can have your parents arrange something

[Verbiage]

Originally Posted by ideliver

open relationships are for older, bored, uninterested adults...not kids...and OP...in case you do not know, you are thankfully a kid...

Time to face the music, she is just not that into you...and for multiple reasons she can't/won't break-up with you...time to move on

Maybe you can have your parents arrange something

FTFY. Good riddance.

[persian54]

Originally Posted by ideliver

in case you do not know, you are a kid...

Maybe you can have your parents arrange something

I know I'm still young

And my parents tried to arrange a marriage for me when I was younger.. but then I came to America.. so yeah :P

Originally Posted by ragingclue

I don't know how you could still define her as your girlfriend.... The situation makes no sense. She is an ex you just haven't let go of yet... That's all....

Because we haven't broken up...
and poly relationships aren't common but do occur.. as my girl and i are an example of.
she just seems to be 'doing it wrong'
As I've been able to see this other girl for months without letting it get in the way of our relationship

Originally Posted by Serious

not exactly. The OP said he typically prefers one girl in a monogamous relationship but is giving this a shot, which IMO is actually pretty healthy since it displays a level of self confidence and security which is typically the major downfall in young relationships.

Also you guys should read about our bodily chemistry and how we react to relationships... because once you cut society out of the equation, our natural approach towards relationships tend to be open.

I personally haven't participated in them but have done a little bit of reading to try to understand the dynamics.

Back to the OP, I think this might be the signal to yourself that you aren't completely happy with the current situation and need a change of direction.

I have to say: You seemed to be the most informed; you are also looking at it objectively.

I agree with the need of a change of direction.
But I for one have never been single in my 'adult' (yes I'm still a kid, but legally after the age of 18 you're an adult....).. so that may be one reason why I haven't wanted to lose the 'bf/gf' title.
I guess since this is a challenge...I may still be in it?
My secondary gives me no problems... which is why I like it.. but I guess it's too 'easy' or 'simple'? A question to which I do not have a complete answer for :/

Thanks again everyone for your responses

[persian54]

I guess I should be happy my biggest problem in life right now is only something like this......
and nothing too 'serious' or 'bad' etc

(other than my burning eye... but that should be gone in a week; and my stupid HPFP about to go out...)

[Verbiage]

Be careful, though: your gf may not be as mature as you regarding the discernment between her relationship with you and one that she may develop outside of it. Just trying to see things from all angles. You really can't rule anything out.

[persian54]

Originally Posted by Bavarian III

Be careful, though: your gf may not be as mature as you regarding the discernment between her relationship with you and one that she may develop outside of it. Just trying to see things from all angles. You really can't rule anything out.

Right right

I'm not ruling this out at all; as this is why I feel she is 'doing it wrong'

If she was able to discernment between our relationship and someone else, than there wouldn't really be this 'problem'


I guess I should have mentioned this, but this mainly started because she has always been a little bi curious but has never done anything... she met a woman she felt attracted to/that she liked... so she offered this open relationship... so that she could pursue this woman without guilt etc

later, when she pussied out (no pun intended), she mentioned that maybe she would want to see other guys for the experience only
Now, this is where the 'problem' arrises... she's, as stated, not being able to separate casual sexual encounters/interest and a relationship

To quote her: "this is my first time doing this, and this is all I know how to do"
Well, it's my first time too....

[ragingclue]

Yeah dude lock the knives away at night. You don't want her chopping off your dong.

[Marcumac]

Tell her you want to experiment with said female as well, have a threesome, call it a day.

[Verbiage]

Originally Posted by persian54

Right right

I'm not ruling this out at all; as this is why I feel she is 'doing it wrong'

If she was able to discernment between our relationship and someone else, than there wouldn't really be this 'problem'


I guess I should have mentioned this, but this mainly started because she has always been a little bi curious but has never done anything... she met a woman she felt attracted to/that she liked... so she offered this open relationship... so that she could pursue this woman without guilt etc

later, when she pussied out (no pun intended), she mentioned that maybe she would want to see other guys for the experience only
Now, this is where the 'problem' arrises... she's, as stated, not being able to separate casual sexual encounters/interest and a relationship

To quote her: "this is my first time doing this, and this is all I know how to do"
Well, it's my first time too....

Hmmm. Well going from bi-curious to sexual encounters with other guys seems a bit backwards, if you ask me. Normally, its the latter that occurs first. But I just think the whole thing is kind of weird since the two of you are in this relationship together; just my opinion, though.


I guess it would be best to sit down with her and really discuss what intentions are being had, here.

[DougLikesBMW]

OP, you still have not addressed how you feel regarding the possibility of her sucking some dude's dick, him nutting her mouth, and then her coming home and kissing you.

[persian54]

Originally Posted by Marcumac

Tell her you want to experiment with said female as well, have a threesome, call it a day.

We have

She just needs to 'man' up (for loss of a better word) and approach this woman

I personally did agree to have a 3some with this new guy... mainly because I've had a 3some with 2 girls and a 4some (2 girls 2 guys), but never a 3some where 2 males dominate a woman...

And we have sat down and spent hours on end talking about this...
I told her she needs to talk to more people... as she mainly reads and talks to her best friend (who, IMHO, is a slut... even though my gf does not think so... she feels that if a woman makes the decision to go to a bar, pick someone up to fuck them, and that's that.. it's 'alright;' which by all means is 'alright' but to me, male or female, that would define them as a slut... now going out a few times and then having sex is a bit of a difference; but this is a wholeeee another matter)

[persian54]

Originally Posted by DougLikesBMW

OP, you still have not addressed how you feel regarding the possibility of her sucking some dude's dick, him nutting her mouth, and then her coming home and kissing you

well she wouldn't see me that day for sure

and we don't live together.. so she wouldn't really 'come home' to me.. ever.

I told her I don't want to live together

But to your statement:
you meet a girl, you start talking, and you start having sex with this said girl.
How do you know when the last time she sucked dick before was?
How do you know she wasn't doing it the day before you went out?

Only if you have sex with virgins and only virgins can you expect to be the only male to have penetrated her and cummed in her mouth

[persian54]

one important note though...
people who want to cheat will cheat (I learned this the hard way years ago)
people who want to fuck will fuck...
So I'm happy she's at least open.. and giving me the chance to do it... and knowing that I can break it off etc..
Just a thought...

[Alexander]

[Verbiage]

Originally Posted by persian54

Only if you have sex with virgins and only virgins can you expect to be the only male to have penetrated her and cummed in her mouth

But not every male cums in girl's mouths: only some get that privilege

Originally Posted by persian54

one important note though...
people who want to cheat will cheat (I learned this the hard way years ago)
people who want to fuck will fuck...
So I'm happy she's at least open.. and giving me the chance to do it... and knowing that I can break it off etc..
Just a thought...

This is true.





Aonarch is always posting that lol.