09-09-2019, 07:47 PM | #4533 | |
Banned
![]() 3216
Rep 2,385
Posts |
Quote:
|
|
Appreciate
0
|
09-09-2019, 07:56 PM | #4534 | |
Banned
![]() 3216
Rep 2,385
Posts |
Quote:
If I found someone equally or more financially set than I am, I would fully expect them not to be attracted to me at all, as they could have just about any guy they chose. I'm not a good looking guy, nor am I a charming "sweep them off their feet" salesman. I'm just an average guy with a foreign accent. |
|
Appreciate
1
Turkish Pickle3084.00 |
09-09-2019, 08:02 PM | #4535 | |
Banned
![]() 3084
Rep 381
Posts
Drives: '21 330i xDrive
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
|
Quote:
but on a more serious note, i'd say instead of the financials necessarily look into experiences you can share and ones you/she has experienced in the past. if there's any bit of relatable content, i'm sure you can find middle ground. sometimes two people have absolutely nothing in common, and sometimes you run into your female clone ![]() i'm probably going to sound like an elitist dickhead, and sorry about that, but you wouldn't necessarily invite people to things that you think wouldn't fit right. if you can't think of anything you do regularly and can't find a middle ground... yeah. |
|
Appreciate
0
|
09-09-2019, 08:18 PM | #4536 | ||
Banned
![]() 3216
Rep 2,385
Posts |
Quote:
Quote:
And no - you're not an elitist dickhead. A little young, but you have a good head on your shoulders. No comment regarding elsewhere. |
||
Appreciate
1
Turkish Pickle3084.00 |
09-09-2019, 08:27 PM | #4537 | |
Hoonigan
![]() 6821
Rep 3,000
Posts
Drives: '09 328i, '98 Wrangler
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Connecticut
|
Quote:
I'm 29, and my issue on dating sites is that most of the women who want to date me are single moms. Some of them very attractive, but I just don't want that baggage just yet. My thinking is that in this stage of their life they are done dealing with all the assholes, and someone who is financially responsible and a genuine person is attractive to them now that life has smacked them in the face with reality.
__________________
"Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."
-Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park |
|
Appreciate
0
|
09-09-2019, 08:33 PM | #4538 | ||
Banned
![]() 3084
Rep 381
Posts
Drives: '21 330i xDrive
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
|
Quote:
![]() Quote:
![]() the first part brings this question to my mind: what are you really looking for? a wife-kinda deal or just someone nice to spend time with but also open to options? im generally very impulsive about this stuff, at the slightest bad gut feeling i'll talk it out with my boys (which generally ends up as groupthink) and generally move on. depending on your answer to the question above you'll figure out where to go with this and wine could be a good middle ground, but how do you guys get along past bedroom activities? is there anything you guys talk about, or is it just "hey how was your day" "long and hard hbu" "yeah mine was okay but you know what else is long and hard?" and - this is straight up stereotyping, but what level does she teach? i'd argue kindergarten teachers are WAY different than, say, high school teachers |
||
Appreciate
1
Rmtt8211.00 |
09-09-2019, 08:35 PM | #4539 | |
Banned
![]() 3216
Rep 2,385
Posts |
Quote:
I get you about baggage. I didn't want to date anyone with children either - they are at her place all week except Thursday and every other weekend I believe, and that doesn't help - we can't just be spontaneous - everything has to be planned around kids. I've been single most of my life and been free to do whatever whenever - not enjoying the being unable to do what we want to do. |
|
Appreciate
0
|
09-09-2019, 08:39 PM | #4540 | |
Banned
![]() 3216
Rep 2,385
Posts |
Quote:
We talk about a lot of things when together, but don't communicate a lot outside that. Like haven't heard from her since Sunday afternoon. At the same time, she's not heard from me. Communication is a two way street, and works from both ends. She just moved from kindergarten to pre-K - is that bad? ![]() |
|
Appreciate
0
|
09-09-2019, 08:56 PM | #4541 | |
Banned
![]() 3084
Rep 381
Posts
Drives: '21 330i xDrive
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
|
Quote:
a lot of my professors in college say they can never teach children, and generally speaking those who admit that are the cooler ones but that's good! that means she can take good care of your kids when you two get married ![]() in terms of the communication thing, i am like that too. i also hate just text-talking (prefer calling), but i'd also say check in every now and then. i told this one girl i hate texting and suck at it too (i lied, yes) and until the day before we met up a second time i did not text her and she goes "oh i thought it was off i didnt hear back from you in a while" |
|
Appreciate
0
|
09-10-2019, 05:52 AM | #4542 | |
Colonel
![]() ![]() 8211
Rep 2,250
Posts |
Quote:
Don't take this wrong but with all the planning, it sounds like you may also be a little "smitten" with her as well. At this stage of the game, I feel like you still need to put yourself first. Make plans when they can work out, and when they don't work out don't sweat it. Its not like it's your fault anyway. And if she is truly interested in this going somewhere and not just latching on for financial security, I think she would understand. My wife is a teacher. We dated for a few years before getting married. During the school year, I was out with my "boys" more than I was with her. But it gave me a chance to see how she reacted. I didn't expect her to change her plans for me, and expected the same in return. Now after about a year, we had talked about it and committed to see where things would go and that we would only see each other and no one else. That is where I got to see how trusting she could be. As for the gold-digger issue, I used to show up for dates with other women in my brother's old beat up pick-up truck. I figured that would let me know pretty quickly if their were any ulterior motives at hand. Kind of like not "playing all your cards" at once. But regardless of my rambling, best of luck with the situation. Your circumstances are different than mine were as I was only 30 when I hit the dating scene again. And I definitely wasn't looking to get in a relationship and didn't for years. I just had fun and did what I wanted. If they were game for those terms...then so be it. If not, then I just checked out.
__________________
Everybody has a gameplan....until they get punched in the mouth.
![]() |
|
Appreciate
1
Turkish Pickle3084.00 |
09-10-2019, 08:44 AM | #4543 | |
Banned
![]() 3216
Rep 2,385
Posts |
Quote:
I wouldn't say smitten, but I do think ahead (generally with everything - my daily budget I keep stretches out over 18 months in the future) You said you waited a year before committing to not seeing anyone else. She told me that a week ago, and we only met mid-July one day before I went to NZ for 2 weeks. That's another reason I feel she's smitten and rushing things. I have considered getting an old beater for dating or at least a much more modest car, but I already have the M3 and Ferrari, and plan to buy another classic exotic (Countach) later this year. But maybe a more sensible daily driver makes sense - bit late for this one though. Thanks again - I do appreciate the input. |
|
Appreciate
1
Rmtt8211.00 |
09-10-2019, 08:55 AM | #4544 |
Private First Class
![]() ![]() 92
Rep 107
Posts |
I asked this one girl on a date, after starting my first job, and she flat out told me no (with a big grin on her face). I thought it was kind of strange she just said no and grinned at me, so I asked her later why she was so quick to say no and she said, “You are my cousin, you goof, don’t you remember you went to my quinceniera (15th birthday party)”.
Mk, now fast forward about five years and this coworker of mine sets me up with this office girl that has a crush on me. We go out, elegant adult atmosphere, dinner, wine and go back to her apartment for a chat on her loveseat. Things going good, chemistry all there, conversation is heading toward where we grew up, she mentions a town or two I used to live near, then aunts, cousins and BAM......yup, her cousins are my cousins, then.....her grandpa and my grandpa....brothers....DAM. The End |
Appreciate
6
Turkish Pickle3084.00 King Rudi13154.00 Rmtt8211.00 nyalpine907431.00 IllSic_Design2122.50 bimmette6453.50 |
09-10-2019, 09:31 AM | #4545 | |
I'll get back to you
7559
Rep 2,132
Posts |
Quote:
![]() but seriously, whats the age difference?
__________________
2018 Stinger GT
2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/ Countermeasure enthusiast. ![]() |
|
Appreciate
2
Turkish Pickle3084.00 Rmtt8211.00 |
09-10-2019, 09:33 AM | #4546 | |
Brigadier General
![]() ![]() 8906
Rep 4,107
Posts |
Quote:
Move to Arkansas? ![]() ![]()
__________________
2021 X3 M40i
1974 2002tii, Inka, 5 sp manual BMWCCA # 327475 ![]() |
|
Appreciate
3
|
09-10-2019, 12:38 PM | #4548 | |
Lieutenant General
![]() ![]() ![]() 7431
Rep 11,843
Posts
Drives: MY24 G01 AW Msport
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: L.I. NY
|
Quote:
![]() |
|
Appreciate
2
MKSixer34184.50 IllSic_Design2122.50 |
09-10-2019, 12:40 PM | #4549 | |
Lieutenant General
![]() ![]() ![]() 7431
Rep 11,843
Posts
Drives: MY24 G01 AW Msport
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: L.I. NY
|
Quote:
|
|
Appreciate
0
|
09-10-2019, 02:28 PM | #4550 |
Banned
![]() 3216
Rep 2,385
Posts |
|
Appreciate
0
|
09-10-2019, 03:09 PM | #4551 |
Lieutenant Colonel
![]() 13154
Rep 1,965
Posts |
She isn't smitten sir. She's exercising her flesh hooks. Most women have them. They are activated when they smell money and they tend to latch on to the individual from whence the smell emanated. She doesn't love you, she wants to be set.....financially set.
In my experiences, I've encountered 3 types. Keep in mind, I live a modest life; 5 figure income, small home (all be it paid off and nice) but I'm not housing a Ferrari or expensive toys, no vacations, etc. Type 1. completely intimidated by successful people and absolutely no way of knowing how to act. Type 2. Wants that money and willing to do, act or say anything to get it. Type 3......sigh.....the current girlfriend....only wants my time and couldn't care less if I was insanely rich or homeless. Your girl falls into one of these categories. You need to determine which. If she told you just a few weeks ago that she wanted a year before she decides to date you exclusively, then suddenly she's smitten. I'll agree with your own words, yet in more of a Kanye-ish type manner....."I'm not saying she's a gold digger.......but....." I can't believe I just quoted Kanye in anything. I need a long, drawn out, Lifetime Movie-esque, sitting in the shower floor, crying, wash the dirt off moment......and that still won't be enough. I might have to break out the whiskey and some country music tonight. |
Appreciate
0
|
09-10-2019, 03:16 PM | #4552 | |
Major
![]() ![]() 1132
Rep 1,366
Posts |
Quote:
__________________
![]() #ladydriven Heavy-spec M3 // KW Clubsports // AA x-pipe // Gintani muffler // Macht-Schnell intake // Gintani tune // OMP Seats // Too Many Apex Wheels // Stoptech ST-60 // Cobalt Friction brake pads |
|
Appreciate
1
IllSic_Design2122.50 |
09-10-2019, 03:18 PM | #4553 | |
Major
![]() ![]() 1132
Rep 1,366
Posts |
Quote:
__________________
![]() #ladydriven Heavy-spec M3 // KW Clubsports // AA x-pipe // Gintani muffler // Macht-Schnell intake // Gintani tune // OMP Seats // Too Many Apex Wheels // Stoptech ST-60 // Cobalt Friction brake pads |
|
Appreciate
0
|
09-10-2019, 03:25 PM | #4554 |
Banned
![]() 3216
Rep 2,385
Posts |
|
Appreciate
0
|
Post Reply |
Bookmarks |
|
|