[-EndOfAnEra-]

Today, had an unfun experience.

I had a 6MT E90 335i before my M340i, and nothing but manual transmission cars for the last 15 years. I have a local carwash which is literally around the block from my house, so I would tend to go first thing in the morning for quick washes.

The process with an E90 6MT is quite simple:

1. Line up by eye with the rails.
2. Clutch in, neutral, clutch out.
3. Ride and marvel at the suds and psychedelic light show.
4. Wait for the car to leave the rails, clutch in, gear, clutch out.

I've done this once before in the automatic M340i without incident. However I saw that the parking sensors went utterly haywire with bright flashes of red and screaming beeps. Very stressful! Afterwards I played with the camera settings and noticed a "car wash" setting. I figured that BMW thoughtfully included this to fix my problem.

I went this morning to the carwash. The process I used today was:

1. Switch to Car Wash mode in the parking camera view.
2. Using the lines on iDrive, position myself in the rails perfectly (it wasn't perfect...)
3. Shift into Neutral from Drive... forgetting for a moment that you need brake in AND press the Unlock button on the shifter, and tap up ONCE briefly.
3. Expect there to be a quiet and serene ride... but it was again a hellstorm of color and a cacophony of beeps.
4. Wait for the car to leave the rails, leave neutral and go into drive with the above procedure I literally did two minutes ago.

After the car left the rails, I thought, "Ah! Better tap backwards to get back into Drive!"

Nothing.

In growing consternation (there's a car inevitably trundling along behind mine!), I figured I needed to press the Unlock button (stupid complicated autos!)

Nothing.

The car is helpfully prompting me with what to do but now I'm in full panic mode and can't figure out how to make it MOVE!

Eventually I realize the missing piece (as it is in every single other automatic!) is the BRAKE. I slam the brake, hit the Unlock button, and pull back the shifter into Drive and finally leave my nightmare!

I've taken three lessons from this experience.

1. Not driving regularly thanks to COVID-19 sucks.
2. Cars really should be simpler again...
3. LEARN TO DRIVE YOUR OWN CAR!

I went practicing in a parking lot the super obvious afterwards

[themnmd]

No car washes for me

[Gdiddy23]

First mistake was not going to a touch less car wash!

[Burrcold]

I've been going to touchless washes once a week since lockdown. It gives me an excuse to get out of the house, drive for a bit, and get all the bird crap, dust, pollen, etc. that accumulates as the poor car sits

[Phippsy81]

The first mistake was not actually washing it yourself... I feel sick just thinking about driving into the car wash... your poor paint 😳

[Burrcold]

Originally Posted by Phippsy81

The first mistake was not actually washing it yourself... I feel sick just thinking about driving into the car wash... your poor paint 😳

It was probably a touchless wash.

[golf_234]

Originally Posted by Gdiddy23

First mistake was not going to a touch less car wash!

This. Glad your car is ok, but if you care about your car, drive through washes are an absolute no. Touchless or not, they are extremely harsh on the car and basically ruin the paint over time.

[PersonaNonGrata]

All you guys with the touchless car washes. I wish I had them around me. 100% hand wash places are all but extinct too and when you find one it’s basically a detailing plate and they are super expensive. I used to love doing the whole wash ritual with my foam gun, two buckets, and all the different mitts and brushes but time is so scarce any more. Luckily my M340i is a lease and while I still care for it, I don’t obsess.

[upsidedownfunnel]

I thought automatics didn't require brake to shift from neutral to drive. Has this changed recently? I will try this on my wife's G05 which I'm assuming is similar to the G20.

[Transfer]

Haters gonna hate. lol

Every time I go through a car wash, it's a challenge to brake and shift into D as fast and smoothly as possible. It's much nicer if there is a slight downward slope but if flat you don't have much time!

[laidback93]

I hate to be a car wash shamer, but yeah I'm a car wash shamer. Hand wash only for my G20 and E30.

[alex2364]

Your first mistake was going to a car wash with rails.

[hans007]

i'm only taking my car to a touch less , railess wash or one of those places you pay quarters for and wash yourself.

I don't think its so wrong to use an auto wash, but if you live in an apartment or condo you aren't hand washing a car at home. My previous cars once I am past a certain point I'll take to a "hand wash" place. But probably not this one for a while.... not letting a bunch of dudes with random rags swirl up that expensive tanzanite paint

[eluded]

Takeaway four, no manual transmission

[phillyd2]

LOL Haven't hand washed a car for decades and all of them have survived without drama.

[MurrayB]

Car wash mode works great for entering a narrow garage entrance.

[TheRetroGuy]

Originally Posted by phillyd2

LOL Haven't hand washed a car for decades and all of them have survived without drama.

Keep a good coat of wax on it at all times and I've never had issues -- it eliminates the friction that leads to all the swirls and dulling effect of auto washes. My cars paint in the 6 or 7th year always looks like it came off the showroom floor with a bit of buffing to get out any superficial imperfections. But those with ceramic coating are better off to stay with hand-washing or touch less car washes. Supposedly the sum of ceramic + regular car washes is worse than not even waxing.

Disclaimer -- dark grey is my preferred car color for maintainability. The above might not still hold true for colors like black that show imperfections more.

[phillyd2]

Oh and mine is black

[NorCalAthlete]

Eh. I use a touchless when I get gas sometimes, maybe every other month. Where I live tons of people live in condos or apartments where there's not really an option to self wash - no hoses, HOA rules for your townhouse driveway, etc prevent you from washing yourself. So your options are $50-$100 for a detail place that'll do a shitty job anyway half the time (ring smears on mirrors where they didn't bother wiping the edges, just the middle; ignoring the sunroof completely; lower sills and undercarriage areas untouched) or go through a touchless wash.

I get frustrated with having to go back over the car and point out all the spots the detail guys missed or ignored, so half the time I just say fuck it and go through the touchless.

Detail maybe 2-3 times a year, touchless 5-6 times a year give or take.

Unless you're keeping the car for 20 years, nobody is going to notice your paint 99% of the time.

[golf_234]

Originally Posted by TheRetroGuy

Keep a good coat of wax on it at all times and I've never had issues -- it eliminates the friction that leads to all the swirls and dulling effect of auto washes. My cars paint in the 6 or 7th year always looks like it came off the showroom floor with a bit of buffing to get out any superficial imperfections. But those with ceramic coating are better off to stay with hand-washing or touch less car washes. Supposedly the sum of ceramic + regular car washes is worse than not even waxing.

Disclaimer -- dark grey is my preferred car color for maintainability. The above might not still hold true for colors like black that show imperfections more.

Originally Posted by phillyd2

LOL Haven't hand washed a car for decades and all of them have survived without drama.

Absolutely any way you break it down any kind of automatic drive through wash, touchless or not, with rails and all that jazz, is going to be havoc on the car. Hand washing properly takes me about 35 minutes, well worth the time to keep a car nice especially if you own it. On a lease I would probably care a bit less.

"How you do anything is how you do everything"

[redcars]

Curious. Doesn't the conveyor stop when a car doesn't clear the exit area?

[TheRetroGuy]

Originally Posted by golf_234

Absolutely any way you break it down any kind of automatic drive through wash, touchless or not, with rails and all that jazz, is going to be havoc on the car. Hand washing properly takes me about 35 minutes, well worth the time to keep a car nice especially if you own it. On a lease I would probably care a bit less.

I think the definition of havoc varies from person to person. Driving a car hard in sports mode, in terms of the dollar cost of wear and tear, is far more pricey than a few swirls in the paint, and wear and tear on mechanical parts cannot be buffed out during a detail job like paint imperfections. At the end of the day it's all part of the cost of owning a car. Thirty-five minutes of my time, now THAT's expensive. Every hour I spend not doing billable work is like gold to me, so to be able to get on my phone and get some work done while someone making minimum wage runs my car through the rails and dries it off is a value proposition I cannot pass up.

Around the 5th or 6th year mark, I stop being OCD about minor swirls in the paint that don't even negatively impact the overall appearance because I know I'm looking at a new car soon. I have them detailed and any minor wear and tear from car washes buffed out, and I'm always amazed that the paint looks brand new again. The key is to keep a good coat of wax on it --- that does take maybe close to an hour of my time to do, but I typically only have to do it 2-3 times a year so it's worth it.